those terrible twenties.

Do you ever have one of those days where you wish you could just throw yourself on the ground and refuse to talk to anyone until you get a juice box? When you feel like all possible means of communicating and managing frustration have been exhausted, and the only possible thing left to do is to revert into the 3 year old version of yourself?

We all have our limits, and dealing with particularly hard and stressful situations seem to really invite irrational, erratic, and yes, childish behavior. All the coping mechanisms we’ve learned and rehearsed over the years just won’t cut it sometimes, and we are left with what we had in the beginning: toddlers in tiaras.

We were all born with the innate capability and natural instinct to cry and scream when things go wrong, and not let up until it’s taken care of. Until we are taken care of.
As humans, our first moment in the world most likely involved screaming our heads off, and shaking our blood covered fists in the air. Babies communicate clearly from the very beginning when they are sad or upset, and from then on, crying is the default emotion for any situation. And as we grow older, we not only learn how to walk and talk, and read and write, we are taught how to express our needs and wants in an acceptable manor. We are taught to no longer look for mommy or daddy to pick us up when we fall down, but to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps… or velcro shoes.

The transitions we make from infanthood to childhood, and then on to adolescence and adulthood are full of unbelievable growth and change. It’s strange to reflect on the vast amount of physical, social, emotional, and cognitive maturation that occurs over relatively short spans of time. As we grow, we are molded into humans capable of maneuvering through the world as independent beings.

As we grew up, so did our understanding of how to express ourselves, as well as our assessment of how to manage and cope more and more independently. Thanks to biology and societal regulations, our brains grow and our knowledge expands on how to regulate feelings. Once we get past the tears of childhood and the carelessness of adolescence, we are expected to emerge on the other end mature, composed, and level headed. Emotions and thoughts are forced through several filters before a reaction happens. Our brains are now expected to restrain our mouths from screaming, or our feet from stomping and our fists from forming.

Then one day you wake up and bam! The stark reality of adulthood - there is no one to rub you on your back or give you a snack when you feel grumpy at work. And even though we have been through many years of training, there is still the tempting option to revert inside of all of us that sometimes wants to show itself in the form of a serious pout-fest. And even though we can’t scream until we get our way, or throw our cups across the room when they’re empty, we can act childlike in other ways.

I can think of no better way to relieve stress, frustration and pressure than channeling the wild, pint-sized version of myself. Whether this means taking some time to do an art project, play a board game, or fly a kite, nourishing the initial positive and creative parts of myself are imperative to maintaining sanity. I don’t know about you, but I doubt I’ll ever fully see myself as grown up, entirely detached from childhood. Having moments of child-like recklessness, immaturity, curiosity, and humor are vital aspects of myself and have always played a big role in my enjoyment of life. Being in ‘the real world’ for several years now has done nothing more than solidify my beliefs in the importance of these youthful thoughts and actions.

But seriously, get out of here and don’t talk to me until you come back here with a toy story band-aid.
…It doesn’t matter if I’m not bleeding!

year of the dragon.

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

We're only a month into the new year and I'm already hoping that all of the lows of 2012 are just getting themselves out of the way early.

A falling rock landed hit car on the interstate, my apartment building almost burnt down, and my grandmother is currently in emergency surgery. The last 31 days have been nothing short of stressful.

On the up side, the unseasonably warm weather, in addition to, the new yoga classes I've started taking have been helping to balance out stress and chaos in my life.

And now I'll take a break from a large text post, and just share a few photos from January.

let's review.

a brief summary of the last 365 days:

- 20something growing pains.
- road trips and adventure.
- welcoming an amazing new human to the world.
- learning to trust more than i thought possible.


here are a few snapshots of memory from this past year that aim to recognize the impact of time and space on the present and the future :

strangers again.

After a chaotic hiatus of starting a new job and preparing for the holidays, I want to start again from the beginning.

The initial reason why I created this, and the name of the blog itself, both deal with relationships and understanding.
As most of us have spent a lot of time with family and close friends recently, I find it appropriate to reflect and react to the experience of 'going home' for the holidays and being around relatives.

There is something very special about familiar bonds that last throughout the years, and the time spent with loved ones should be appreciated and remembered. The tricky thing about family is that, while they are the most familiar to you, and you have a unique comfort level with them, you continue to grow and grow up all through the year without them.
Interacting with the people who have been around you all your life, and see you in a particular way can be challenging, especially when the title of 'adult' grows nearer to you. They have watched you leave childhood behind and grow taller and wiser, and while they may know your sweater size, they don't necessarily know who you are anymore.

Catching up on conversations, laughing together, eating meals together, and sharing with one another are what make this time of year so special and important, and I look forward to many traditions that my family upholds over the years.
But I still know that when I grab a beer from the fridge on Christmas eve, or talk about my career goals with loved ones, that many of them are looking at me as the 2 year old walking on her tip toes or the 12 year old obsessing over Hanson, not the person in front of them.




We were all strangers once,
And sometimes we become strangers twice.

things that go bump in the night.

I generally like to reserve peeing in my pants for when I'm laughing too hard.
that being said, I’ve always been fascinated and perplexed by the popularity of all things frightening, scary and spooky. The success of 'fright nights' haunted houses, not to mention a whole genre of movies dedicated to scaring the crap out of people (or in my case, hiding under a blanket) is something I truly do not understand.

Call me crazy, but I don't like to 'exercise' the reactions of my sympathetic nervous system, I prefer to utilize my fighting and flighting for situations in which I am facing a real-life, dangerous situations.
The local news even freaks me out... but only when they lead with stories like "could the killer be in your backyard? find out, tonight at 11:00"

Lets just say my tolerance for horror and fright falls somewhere between the 'goosebumps' books and Lindsay Lohan's acting in 'I know who killed me.' Plus, I generally just want to punch every character in horror movies for not listening to me when I screamed, 'don't go in there!' or, 'ho, you use these keys to your house
Every day, why can't you get the damn door open!!!' ...And then I just feel guilty for yelling at them cause they're dead 2 minutes later, and I'm the asshole sitting in the dark.

But on a serious note, there certainly is something to be said about the thrill and enjoyment from fright that is sought out by many during this time of year. People pay a lot of money to industries which are dedicated to surrounding consumers with uncomfortable, unsettling and seemingly unsafe situations.
And yes, I understand that getting the crap scared out you gets your blood pumping but why not just go for a bike ride? Maybe the relief of having 'survived' the scenario, or the idea that the scary situation is all fiction and couldn't/wouldn't really happen in real life is reassuring to people, in some strange way?
I clearly don't know since I typically end up watching through my fingers, or run away all together.

So, while I spend my Halloween the PG way, eating candy, carving pumpkins and watching Charlie Brown, cheers to those of you who enjoy getting spooked by the creature of the night.

Happy Halloween!

the elements, and us.

I've posted a lot about man made versus natural environments here-- both how I personally interact with them, and how I observe others in those spaces. Today I want to highlight the places in which natural and synthetic materials appear in the same place to form a unique meeting point.

Whether it be grass growing in a crack on the sidewalk, rust forming on the roof of a car, or the fading of old signs on the side of the road, strong pieces of construction all show some sign of the elements over time.

I think there is something quite beautiful to be found in these spaces, where stories of the past come to life before your eyes. While history is revealing itself, the battle of nature and concrete begins it's own chapter, and I am just happy to catch a glimpse.

unrestricted territories.

As much as I love cities, and the urban landscape, I often need physical, tangible space to organize my thoughts, and escape from the fast paced lifestyle that takes places within the concrete jungle.

Ask any city planner, teacher, ecologist, architect, psychologist, or yogi, and they will tell you of the great benefits provided by natural outdoor space. The amount of leisure, meditation, escape, exercise, play and overall enjoyment that takes place in green spaces, not to mention the educational benefits of experiencing and learning from nature, is an important aspect part of human existence.

In addition to serving as a setting for much activity and behavior that is foreign or seldom found within man-made city blocks, the concept of ‘free,’ or public space is incredibly important to city dwellers. Metropolitan areas serve as a magnet for a great number of inhabitants, requiring things to be built close together, at a high price. Public parks give people a place to go where the space they occupy and utilize is not limited by their ability to afford certain monetary contributions, all the while providing a change in landscape and an escape from the noise, and colors of the city.

From Hyde park, to Regent’s park, the city of London has definitely recognized the benefits of public space, and does a fantastic job of providing wonderful parks throughout the city. These vast sprawls of green, public space give residents the forum to escape and play, and most importantly, feel a sense of ownership in their city.

I specifically wanted to highlight the photos I took during my visit to Richmond Park. With over 2000 acres of trees, creeks, and open space, and filled with a large variety of roaming wildlife, the landscape of Richmond Park provides the perfect example of allowing visitors to have physical space to reflect and recreate within city limits.












/>