After having some interesting interactions with people lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I exist as a stranger in the world, as well as how I interact with and react to the behavior of other strangers. Perhaps it was because of my age, my life experiences, or belief system, but I used to always assume that the anonymous people I interacted with had good intentions. It’s safe to say that my world-view has been challenged, as I have been more focused on how people treat one another, and have personally received a lot of negativity and aggression from people I don’t even know. As I get older my expectations for strangers to act hostile and disrespectful have greatly increased, and at the same time, my tolerance of people acting rude has taken a sharp turn south. As much as I am trying to maintain my stance as a positive force, and a solid citizen, I find myself becoming a less likeable stranger in the midst of my confusion.
In our society we all want to assume that the strangers around us will abide by certain laws, as well as social norms of behavior. We take for granted that the millions of people around us have free will and are making a conscious choice every second whether or not they want to adhere to particular rules and regulations. In our every day interactions, we place trust in the hands of people we have never met before, and who will, in most cases, continue to remain anonymous. But keeping true to human nature, and maybe more importantly, American impatience and sense of entitlement, just as quickly as we will depend on someone else, we will turn on them.
Particularly when driving, it astonishes me to think about much we depend on each other for our own safety, and the safety of our property. Whether we are honking a horn, making a rude comment, throwing up the finger, or scowling (all things I am tempted to do daily on my commute to work), we react strongly when someone does not follow the rules, and maybe more importantly, our personal expectations. When we are enclosed in the bubble of our cars it seems like we focus even more on ourselves, and less on other people, making it much less likely to be thinking about the consequences of our behavior.
On the other hand, when we are face to face with strangers on the street, I’d like to think, in general, that people are still courteous, and respectful of one another. It is far less likely to see pedestrians nearly knocking each other over on the sidewalk, or stepping directly in front of one another without any warning, than to see an accident or swerve on the highway. But perhaps this is only because we have no barrier to hide behind or fast escape route that is provided in the safety of our cars. It seems that individuals’ tendency to offer help is based largely on physical distance as well as the ease of providing any aid. When an act takes place within someone’s comfort zone, the societal norms which regulate manners, and the enforcement of respecting the rights of others are much more likely to be applied. It is because of this that I think most people in today’s society will still see the need and importance of something as simple as holding the door open for the person behind them.
That being said, there is definitely a time and a place to be cordial, as well as unpleasant to strangers, and our process of reacting to situations happens very quickly and efficiently. Based on our own life experiences and the little information we can gather from the moment at hand, we bring assumptions to our interactions with strangers. We use personal life experience to figure out how we should deal with particular situations and people, as well as form our understanding of how others should treat us.
Unfortunately for me, my recent experiences have been leaning toward the more unpleasant end of interactions with strangers, but I will say that it has made every time someone holds the elevator for me or waves after merging in front of me, stand out much more. So, here’s to hoping that despite the rude and inconsiderate interactions we all have out there every day, that we still try our best to be kind strangers.
[check back later for more photos.]
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